of discovery...

4.58 am...if its once in a while..why not...everytime..UNHEALTHY..purely
i find that to define myself would be the hardest thing to do...
have you had nostalgic moments? maybe watching the Olympic games...contender Asia...MTV...some kickass show...and just then time stops..and you ponder..hey..i could be like one of them...at one point..i was in it too...but now..

well..now...we arent..but its nostalgic anyways...

i find that to actually define who i am is hard. how hard? it can be harder then choosing your underwear...a place to eat (yea..that can be very hard) or even running through a hot pit of coals..naked and calling yourself the Messiah....

i amaze at time and how no matter what age we linger at...we wrestle with the demands of the world...and the need to find our own life's purpose..what a tension...

i realize that some have taken the bold path to set forth a new career..a creative endeavor perhaps? but then u have blogrolls of a pathetic display of losing...lack of research...and well the cycle goes on and on and on...some who have had even a flying start to life..at one point...it all just crashes down..

yea..i am optimistic..enough to be called a pessimist..
i remember one fella..he tried acting smart...mentioned that pessimism means seeing through your toes..can you imagine that?..and i was amongst a crowd of smart people..those of the workforce and the shakers..they laughed...they bought it..i wonder where did the brains of malaysians went to when they actually bought that...

seeing through your toes....we are in trouble...

i find it funny how some people would try to outdo each other in a rat race....they start coming up with this wealth of knowledge...and its just a matter of eloquence...eloquence is the right word...but it takes skeptics of a different nature to actually strip each word..each statement piece by piece to know if it the truth or not..we don't have much skeptics..what a lack...

back to life..it is a discovery to know how unsettled we are..even when we pledge our alliance to the thing we think we are most secured of...our own humanistic concept of religion and god...

-vadai-