*drum beats*
munching on some old material, the smiths to be precise. they have an unmerciful tendency of drilling catching beats and forlorn lyrics into those tiny ear drums of mine. makes listening to it just worth it.
just got two sms's confirming the venue of the classes for the next semester. bible school is an interesting place of all sorts. but it is not a place where i would like to be in. funny, it is interesting but it is not a place of choice, a freely exercised freedom to choose. freedom of choice, is there such a thing? how much control exists even to the motto of the freedom to choose? politicians...
research papers, the ever growing paper mountain. but when your comfortable, it seems you become an ace. and an ace would mean becoming lazy and monotonous. formulas are a one way ticket to hell and you will never come back. the ever reliance on formulas helps you get by, but it wouldnt make you any better or smarter.
ah! the time it is 3.26pm. conformity? i would stick to being a non-conformist. paradoxes exist, you don't need to b a high school teacher to figure that out. so as long as they exist, i would ride on the paradoxical wave and enjoy the idea of not having a clean look, tidy pants, a tucked in shirt with a leather bag and with savory words. why not? even pickpockets do that. think bout it? just think...so non-conformity, the bliss of being different.
the future..is darn scary...imagine the uncertainty. faith seems to be the cure, but reality knocks on the doors of your logic and reason. and then you begin to think...the future...what a mix of feelings as you even set your thoughts on it. probably you brain will blush blood red knowing that your face just can't do the job for you.
now imagine if i went thru all of the above at 3.26pm for behold it is only 2.45pm.
-vadai-
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Monday, April 27, 2009
of the thing that inspires..
George Verwer, some may know him as the founder of Operation Mobilization. it is so interesting to know how much God uses people like them, to reach millions of people with the word of God. it all started out by giving tracts to near by mexico.
it sometimes inspires me to know that God does not work in a paradigm we set as how God should work. an interesting fact about George was his love for girls. tho he admits he did not have sex until gettin married, he used to have syndromes such as leading a girl to Christ and then having a kissing session for 2 hours. and yet at the same time his heart was still focused, still passionate on doing missions.
I mean theres so much stuff about how God wants the perfect Christian and how God will beat the crap out of you for not being holy moly and so on. but we have George who somehow abstained at one point in ministry, before getting married, but there were accounts of him during his ministry that displays his imperfections.
i like that, i think we need more HUMAN people doing God's work, not bimbotic robots who just mimick others and would tryyy their very best to create change. i learnt that vulnerability and the desires to do something outweighs many things.
George Verwer your my hero of the month.
-vadai-
it sometimes inspires me to know that God does not work in a paradigm we set as how God should work. an interesting fact about George was his love for girls. tho he admits he did not have sex until gettin married, he used to have syndromes such as leading a girl to Christ and then having a kissing session for 2 hours. and yet at the same time his heart was still focused, still passionate on doing missions.
I mean theres so much stuff about how God wants the perfect Christian and how God will beat the crap out of you for not being holy moly and so on. but we have George who somehow abstained at one point in ministry, before getting married, but there were accounts of him during his ministry that displays his imperfections.
i like that, i think we need more HUMAN people doing God's work, not bimbotic robots who just mimick others and would tryyy their very best to create change. i learnt that vulnerability and the desires to do something outweighs many things.
George Verwer your my hero of the month.
-vadai-
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
of the drama on mother earth..
life is full of drama. most of em are just above parred melodramatic drama. when one ends so begins another. never ending...
i wonder as i am listening to tons of songs now..being 5.56am and well polishing up my assignment, i look at the souls i knew of, and what and where they are now. some have made it, some are trying to but not, some have joined the meaningless cycle of the workforce, some have begun bad habits and just not focusing on the right things, some have already gotten engaged and some are married, some are single and whining about being single and on the other hand there are some who are sighing on the pains of a relationship....
drama.....
drama....
drama....
bold and the beautiful anyone?
-vadai-
i wonder as i am listening to tons of songs now..being 5.56am and well polishing up my assignment, i look at the souls i knew of, and what and where they are now. some have made it, some are trying to but not, some have joined the meaningless cycle of the workforce, some have begun bad habits and just not focusing on the right things, some have already gotten engaged and some are married, some are single and whining about being single and on the other hand there are some who are sighing on the pains of a relationship....
drama.....
drama....
drama....
bold and the beautiful anyone?
-vadai-
Thursday, April 9, 2009
of the great price slash...
the lady of my heart ventured into watson's to get something impromptu..
the gravity defying poster that's obediently stuck to the glass wall caught my attention..
it wrote..
GREAT PRICE
SLASH
ironically today is Good Friday. tons of christians around the world are celebrating it, with different styles and traditions. however we all believe that today is the day Jesus Christ died for our sins. it also carries forth a salvation call and opportunity for us, who believe that Jesus Christ is Lord and Savior, to attain salvation and life after death. it means that to the Christians, it is the GREAT PRICE SLASH. we have a "GREAT PRICE SLASH" temperamental, where someone died on our behalf that we might be saved, not just anyone, but that someone.
i contemplated on what it is to actually die. we have witness tons of people, who are silent voyagers, journeying to the far beyond and to never come back with a tale or two about how interesting or dreadful it is. but just once, i decided to create that atmosphere, down right in my imagination to just for once, feel what does it feel like to experience death from a first person point of view.
i rmb once when i was down in the operation theater for a minor op, i had the opportunity to ask for a sedation to just nap while they operate my natal cleft. i asked for it, and boom, within seconds i was downright fast asleep. and then of course i woke up in the recovery room and the rest is history.
so back to the pondering, i found that it was really a scary experience. i realized that no matter how much faith i had, just like how John Wesley cowared at sinking ships, i knew that i was scared. scared to die, sacred to go to a place where there was no form of physical evidence. some may claim they aren't afraid, but is it actually scary. it is actually a norm for us to be scary.
so THE GREAT PRICE SLASH a.k.a good friday, what is it all about? is it the courage to die, and not fear death as a display of faith? or is just acknowledging the fear, acknowledging the death cycle and having to learn to place our faith daily in the hands of a God who has experienced it and triumphed over it?
..on to easterrr babbeeehhh...
-vadai-
the gravity defying poster that's obediently stuck to the glass wall caught my attention..
it wrote..
GREAT PRICE
SLASH
ironically today is Good Friday. tons of christians around the world are celebrating it, with different styles and traditions. however we all believe that today is the day Jesus Christ died for our sins. it also carries forth a salvation call and opportunity for us, who believe that Jesus Christ is Lord and Savior, to attain salvation and life after death. it means that to the Christians, it is the GREAT PRICE SLASH. we have a "GREAT PRICE SLASH" temperamental, where someone died on our behalf that we might be saved, not just anyone, but that someone.
i contemplated on what it is to actually die. we have witness tons of people, who are silent voyagers, journeying to the far beyond and to never come back with a tale or two about how interesting or dreadful it is. but just once, i decided to create that atmosphere, down right in my imagination to just for once, feel what does it feel like to experience death from a first person point of view.
i rmb once when i was down in the operation theater for a minor op, i had the opportunity to ask for a sedation to just nap while they operate my natal cleft. i asked for it, and boom, within seconds i was downright fast asleep. and then of course i woke up in the recovery room and the rest is history.
so back to the pondering, i found that it was really a scary experience. i realized that no matter how much faith i had, just like how John Wesley cowared at sinking ships, i knew that i was scared. scared to die, sacred to go to a place where there was no form of physical evidence. some may claim they aren't afraid, but is it actually scary. it is actually a norm for us to be scary.
so THE GREAT PRICE SLASH a.k.a good friday, what is it all about? is it the courage to die, and not fear death as a display of faith? or is just acknowledging the fear, acknowledging the death cycle and having to learn to place our faith daily in the hands of a God who has experienced it and triumphed over it?
..on to easterrr babbeeehhh...
-vadai-
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
of funny things...
i read a funny personal message on MSN...it goes like this:
"i hope i see something in between"
yea i hope you do see something in between your legs, HOPEFULLY....
i am not a big fan of RPK. but his articulation of words and his ability to probe is pretty good. i must say that religious abuse is everywhere and many do not understand what they believe in, in general. whatever race they maybe or religious creed they may uphold too.
which reminds me, how many Christians do know what they believe in?
..best remain unanswered...
i think Christians fall short of even knowing what they profess in, the creed in which they believe in and want others to speak out loud and join along their bandwagon. Don't blame the Pope as the leader of this cohort of unintelligible-ish people...it is just a personal disinterest...
however i do think that life is not spiral but a progressive linear line of events...
-vadai-
"i hope i see something in between"
yea i hope you do see something in between your legs, HOPEFULLY....
i am not a big fan of RPK. but his articulation of words and his ability to probe is pretty good. i must say that religious abuse is everywhere and many do not understand what they believe in, in general. whatever race they maybe or religious creed they may uphold too.
which reminds me, how many Christians do know what they believe in?
..best remain unanswered...
i think Christians fall short of even knowing what they profess in, the creed in which they believe in and want others to speak out loud and join along their bandwagon. Don't blame the Pope as the leader of this cohort of unintelligible-ish people...it is just a personal disinterest...
however i do think that life is not spiral but a progressive linear line of events...
-vadai-
Saturday, April 4, 2009
of homelessness..
"home is where your heart is.."
have i been homeless? i actually do remember the nomadic lifestyle, a privileged enterprise i embarked on when i was in my younger days with my parents. we didn't have a place to settle down for a while. well that was during the early days. i bet some of us can relate to the shifts of time, places, and painted walls on a regular basis.
but nomadic just doesn't seem to fit the more physical bill too. i do think nomadic can also be that irk, itch or bump we get whenever we are just so unsatisfied with our current lifestyle, probably even our monthly pay check, the routine calls of the workforce and those other things we pursuit, the temporary matters of life.
i stumbled upon the whole foxes have holes, birds have nest but the son of man has no place to rest line in the bible during my devotion. i realized that this was spoken by a God who has created the earth in the Old Testament, who has endured the pains and sins of his own creation, sent his son down to earth for a mission that would change an entire lifetime, and yet he, the son, Jesus himself blatantly mentions that he has no place to rest.
HOMELESS.
Karl Marx's utopia seemed to gave in to the cracks and leaks of its foundations and its firmament. in all attempts we did try to create either a community or a country or even a system that would make us that perfect people group. but all it had to do was get cracked, cracked by the very fact that the earth is alien.
ALIEN to us.
we have been commanded to make a radical difference, here and now. i do agree. and agree all the more. but how are we to wrestle with this irritating tension of responsibility, civic duty and the dissatisfaction of life and being alien to all that we claim ours?
-vadai-
have i been homeless? i actually do remember the nomadic lifestyle, a privileged enterprise i embarked on when i was in my younger days with my parents. we didn't have a place to settle down for a while. well that was during the early days. i bet some of us can relate to the shifts of time, places, and painted walls on a regular basis.
but nomadic just doesn't seem to fit the more physical bill too. i do think nomadic can also be that irk, itch or bump we get whenever we are just so unsatisfied with our current lifestyle, probably even our monthly pay check, the routine calls of the workforce and those other things we pursuit, the temporary matters of life.
i stumbled upon the whole foxes have holes, birds have nest but the son of man has no place to rest line in the bible during my devotion. i realized that this was spoken by a God who has created the earth in the Old Testament, who has endured the pains and sins of his own creation, sent his son down to earth for a mission that would change an entire lifetime, and yet he, the son, Jesus himself blatantly mentions that he has no place to rest.
HOMELESS.
Karl Marx's utopia seemed to gave in to the cracks and leaks of its foundations and its firmament. in all attempts we did try to create either a community or a country or even a system that would make us that perfect people group. but all it had to do was get cracked, cracked by the very fact that the earth is alien.
ALIEN to us.
we have been commanded to make a radical difference, here and now. i do agree. and agree all the more. but how are we to wrestle with this irritating tension of responsibility, civic duty and the dissatisfaction of life and being alien to all that we claim ours?
-vadai-
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